General Information

Full Name:  Diane Bender
Date of Death:  Monday, July 15, 2019

BENDER (nee Dobrin)–Diane, of Glen Rock, NJ, on Monday, July 15, 2019. Widow of Ira Bender, devoted and ever proud mother of son Jonathan (Elizabeth) of Washington, D.C. and daughter Suzanne of Chester Springs, Pa., and grandchildren, Leah, Owen and James. She was preceded in death by her parents, Judge Morris and Elsie Dobrin of Fair Lawn, NJ. Our mother, Diane, graduated from Fair Lawn High School, attended Boston University and graduated from Fairleigh Dickinson University with a degree in elementary education. She taught elementary school before marrying and starting her family. For a brief time, we lived in South Jersey where, as very young children, we attended a Quaker day school, and our mother took great joy in volunteering as a fill-in substitute teacher whenever needed. Our mother was gifted artistically, wickedly funny, shrewd and powerful (in the sense that she could make certain things “happen” just by wishing them so…can we talk?). She maintained a clever series of alternate personas, including an elderly woman named “Mrs. Stein” who, whenever she appeared, brought shrieks of laughter. And often, when things seemed glum, she….barked….like a dog. We recoiled because it was so absurd…and because she did this in public places, like restaurants. She had no filter. I guess…who cares? A grown woman barking is funny. Or just plain nuts. Even the day before she died, while lying on her hospital bed feeling very ill…she barked. Just once. And on the same day, when a relative from Bermuda called, Mrs. Stein appeared with her heavy New York accent to chat on the phone. These were endearing characteristics which we will miss terribly. She made us laugh–as did our father. (They were crazy funny together, except that our mother couldn’t tell a joke to save herself.) She made us cry. She had her own ideas, and there was no talking her out of them. She was a typical “Jewish mother.” Accordingly, she loved us ferociously and would have given her own life in an instant to keep us safe. She loved us. She loved us more than anything in the world. A little over-bearing maybe…. Graveside Service, 2 PM, Thursday, July 18, 2109 at Beth El Cemetery, 735 Forest Ave., Paramus, NJ.