Louis-Suburban Chapel Obituaries

General Information

Full Name: Neil Irwin Kilstein
Date of Death: Sunday, May 22, 2022

Neil Kilstein, 84, prominent New Jersey lawyer, died suddenly on Sunday at his home in Manhattan.  Neil was born in Brooklyn, and moved to Laurelton, Queens, when he was 10 years old.  He graduated from Far Rockaway High School, NYU School of Business (magna cum laude), and from Harvard Law School.  He practiced law for 61 years, and was in partnership with his son Richard.  Neil specialized in estate tax, business and real estate.  He was a member of the Bergen County Bar Association and the Greater New Jersey Estate Planning Council.  He resided in Saddle River, NJ for 28 years  before moving to New York City, and was Chairman of the Saddle River Parks and Recreation Department.  He was Board Attorney to multiple real estate boards.  He loved the practice of law, teaching, and helping clients.  He had a passion for life, travel, opera, books, crossword puzzles, family and friends.  

He is survived by his wife of 60 years, Ruth Edelson Kilstein, by a son Richard (Cheryl Anne), daughter Margo Fallon (Tim), and grandchildren Ellery Kilstein, TJ Fallon, and David Fallon.  He is also survived by a sister, Marilyn Brotmann (Larry), and three nephews.  He adored his family, and was adored by them.

Shiva will be observed at his home in NYC on Wednesday and Thursday.

Contributions in his memory may be made to your favorite charities.  

Shiva will be held at the home of Ruth Kilstein, 188 East 64th Street, New York, NY 10065.
On Wednesday from 4 PM – 8:30 PM, and on Thursday from 1 PM – 4 PM, and 6 PM – 9 PM.

Service Information

Wednesday, May 25, 2022  11:00 AM

Service at:
Louis Suburban Chapel
13-01 Broadway, Fair Lawn, NJ 07410

Get Directions to Louis Suburban Chapel


  1. Frank Hall

    So very sorry to learn of Neil’s sudden passing. I knew him as a business colleague, but also grew to know him as a warm and wonderfully bright and engaging gentleman. His clients, I’m sure, were very fortunate people, to have his expert guidance. I know I was fortunate to get to know him. I offer my condolences to Ruth, Richard, and all of his family.

  2. Michael H Fliegelman

    Neil was a unique and very special man who will be missed by many. He was smart funny worldly inquisitive and caring.
    We will miss him tremendously and wish his family peace and comfort during this difficult time
    RIP Cousin

  3. Michael Gartman

    Ruth, Rich and Margo – I am so sorry for your loss. Neil (Mr. Kilstein to me) was an amazingly brilliant man with a wonderful sense of humor. His legacy, however, is that of a loving husband, father and grandfather. I am proud to call Rich and Margo dear friends and you are both a credit to his legacy.

  4. Therese and Gary Pinckney

    Gary and I are so sad to learn of Neil’s passing and our hearts and prayers go out to all of you. Neil was always so gracious, kind, and willing to help. He was a brilliant man who always wanted to guide and inspire others. We admire him in so many ways, and feel blessed to have known him through our friendship with Rich. He certainly embodies a life well lived and will be missed.

  5. Gary, Inna and Alexander Leonardi

    Gary, Inna & Alexander Leonardi
    Inna, Alexander and I have a special place in our hearts for Neil. He has always made everyone feel so welcome to be around him and the first to offer the best of his really exuberant and brilliant personality. What a great guy in every way. Always in our prayers and remembered fondly.

  6. Melissa Danenberg

    We are truly sorry for your loss. We are thinking of you with sympathy and send our most sincere condolences. With love and regret, The Turkewitz Family (Marc, Melissa, Ryder & Charlotte)

  7. Jodi Ekelchik

    Saddened to hear the loss of your Dad and Grandfather, thinking of you and your family and sending our condolences. Will do our best to heed your words today and like your Dad, follow our passions and find life’s joys whenever possible. Ekelchik/Davidson Family (Jodi, David, Mark, Alexa).

  8. Peter Hong

    I will always remember Mr. Kilstein (he asked me to call him Neil when I got older, but that was too much like me calling my father by his first name) as an incredible role model. Mr. Kilstein was obviously successful professionally and I aspire to have his passion and love of craft as a lawyer. But more importantly, I will always admire him as a caring father and loving husband. I will never forget his caring counsel to me as I shared with him my struggles with my own children and I am greatly comforted in knowing that Mr. Kilstein will now be able to share his wisdom and humor with my son in heaven.

  9. Ronnie Kapner

    Dear Ruth, Richard and family, I am so very sorry for your loss. Neil was such a wonderful person. He will be sorely missed.

  10. Ina Shivack

    I’ve known my cousin Neil all my life without knowing so many of the stories shared today. I thank you all for enriching my
    knowledge of him.

  11. Jo-Anne Mitchell

    Rest In Peace Neil Kilstein. I will always remember the guidance and institutional knowledge you so graciously granted me during my two terms as President of the Passaic County Board of Realtors. We couldn’t have had a better emcee at our Centennial Gala–you were so honored to oblige me when I asked you. My favorite story of yours is about how you were our “first Passaic County Board of Realtors’ Executive Officer” and how you had two phones on your desk at your law office–one for the Board and one for your practice. Thank you for all that you have offered our real estate industry. My prayers go out to your loved ones. May your memory be a blessing.

  12. Jean Fostvedt

    I had the privilege of working for Neil for 10 years and had been working in the legal field for 35 years prior to that. I worked with many attorneys but I was most impressed with Neil, his smarts and wonderful relationships with his clients. He used to say he felt like a rabbi counseling some of his clients. He also was a jokester and got quite a kick out of his own jokes. He loved his family dearly and his wife was his rock, which he told me on many occasions. He loved to pick my brain about my religious beliefs and we had many interesting conversations. I pray God‘s peace for you Ruth, Richard, Margo and families. Neil embraced each day and enjoyed a well-lived life. My prayers for all of you.


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